The Relaxation Response

The “fight, flight or freeze” response responds to and drives tension, pain, anxiety, depression and stress. This includes any type of stress:

– cognitive (ie busy work or family commitments)

– emotional (ie relationship distress)

– spiritual/personal (ie self esteem concerns, depression or anxiety)

– or physical stress (ie intense work outs, chronic conditions etc).

This response is meant to be a short term response to help us in emergency situations, but many people live in the stress response day-to-day. This response diverts blood flow away from our organs and hormone signals focus on helping the body to respond to outward challenges. Having this ongoing stress response can have many negative impacts on muscle tension, pain response, ability to sleep and recover, and poor digestive and hormone health profiles. We want to decrease the stress response when we can, whether this means asking for help, finding new coping strategies, or offloading some of the responsibilities you have. AKA – stress management.

 Another option is moving through the stress reponse, whether this means burning off anxious energy with exercise, screaming, crying, singing or dancing, or experiencing the freeze response through deep breathing, meditiation and gentle movement until our body feels the danger has passed and you can start to “thaw” or let go of that response.

On the other hand we have the “rest, digest and have sex” nervous system which diverts blood flow to the organs for digestion, promote healing, recovery, immune response and reproductive/sexual health. We want to increase this relaxation response to help balance out stresses that we can’t change.

Pick strategies from the ideas below that resonate with you. This is not a to-do list, you do not need to do or try them all! Just pick one or two. Start small and simple, maybe 5 minutes a day or just being mindful and aware in the moment as you do routine tasks (ie brushing your teeth, making a meal, driving), and build up from there. Make it a priority! These also happen to be the things that are most correlated with happiness and joy in the research. EnJOY them!

Mindfulness

Our stress response is always fueling us if we have a never-ending to-do list and are always busy. Practice being in the moment, not always thinking about the future or the past. It is often difficult at first, but does get easier with practice. Here are some ways to practice:

– savouring – purposefully relishing in things that make you happy or feel good; for example, the first bite of your favourite food is always the best one, so enjoy it! 

– walking in nature – no headphones, not power walking, just strolling along, listening to the birds, noticing the sights and sounds and smells around you, feeling the wind, sensing the sun (or snow!) on your skin

– try something creative – adult colouring books, puzzles, journaling – something that is enjoyable, calming, not urgent and not for any purpose apart from peacefulness or self expression

– listen to music – anything that makes you happy and calm; low pitch with slow rhythms calms neurological responses in the brain after 15 minutes. You can pair these with your creative task, like journaling or meditation

Social Connection

Social media can contribute to more feelings of loneliness and isolation. Social connection can help as a form of stress management (expressing your struggles or needs, getting encouragement or support, offloading). Research shows that people tend to do best when they have at least two ‘best friends’ that they can be truly themselves with, but any social connection will do – we have research for these! Here are some ideas:

– reconnect face-to-face with those who support you (if you can! #COVID); express your gratitude to them – this can be informal or formal

– perform a small act of kindness to help connect with those around you, whether it be a close friend, colleague or stranger (ie pay for the coffee order for the car behind you in the drive through)

– join a community group if you have a special interest

– make small talk with someone you meet, like a cashier or other front line service worker

Emotional Awareness 

Our brains are wired to focus on the negative – it’s a survival mechanism to avoid injury or harm! But it also means we have to consciously allow ourselves to practice joy and notice the positive things in life. Here’s how:

– gratitude journal – write down 3 good things that have happened today; can be small (the sun was warm when it hit my face on the way to the car), or something bigger

– growth mindset – embrace mistakes as an opportunity for learning, change and growth, and a normal part of living. Failure is a part of life that everyone experiences (but rarely talk about!), and discomfort tends to be where people make the most change. 

– laugh every day – with friends, or even just funny videos on YouTube help counter our stress response

– look back on happy pictures with friends and family

– self talk – notice if you are saying critical or judgemental things to yourself; view yourself with patience and kindness, like you would your best friend. This is called self-compassion.

– emotional response to physical or cognitive stressors – if you have an episode of pain or high stress at work or home, notice if you have any emotions that are paired with those inputs. Emotions are neurological signals in the brain too, just like this other input, and can contribute to an increased stress and/or pain response in the body. Exploring ways to successfully cope with (not just ignore or suppress) these emotion signals can be extremely valuable. 

Meditation 

– inward awareness; focusing on the self in the moment to calm the brain and our stress response

– Step #1: Breathe; Step #2: Repeat. If your mind wanders don’t judge, just re-focus on the breath

– you can use a phrase or mantra to keep the mind focused. Pick one that resonates with you, or come up with your own: breathe, it’s okay, let go, you are enough, in-out, be here, be free

– guided body scans – listen to the audio to keep you focused and help to connect with each area of your body

 

There are a lot of apps available with guided meditations (ie Insight Timer – free), but YouTube is free! Here is one examples of a bank of guided meditations:

guided relaxations, sleep mediations, healing meditations 

If you can’t be still for a lying or sitting meditation, try Qi Gong, Tai Chi or restorative yoga.

Exercise – 30mins/day decreases stress and depression; improves mood, cognitive performance, digestion and sleep (8hrs/day keep the doctor away) – yes please!

If you want more information about these ideas or aren’t sure where to start, don’t hesitate to reach out and we can work out a strategy to help you start to feel more restored and joyful together!

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